Living By My Own Rules

amazing

2011-03-31T22:06:00.002+08:00

how long has it been? let me see?

1 and a half years.

that's an awfully long time.
i'm not in school anymore, life has changed, circumstances have changed.
maybe even my writing style has changed.

and more thing for sure, my audience has changed surely- bet nobody reads my blog anymore.

this would read like a private diary then. haha, if anything online can be considered private.

well, not exactly in the best of moods right now.
it's kinda mean to vent it on someone else- not something i've never done it before, at least not intentionally.

feels surprisingly relieving, no wonder so many people do it.

heh. well well, till time allows again.

jal

so many things to dooo

2009-08-29T12:47:00.000+08:00

i woke up in high spirits today.
don't know why. maybe JUST BECAUSE it is a saturday. heh.
not like my week is very heavy, ANYWAY.

i had a weird dream though. it was super stressful.
because of an sms i read, i dreamt that i was going clubbing, but couldnt find the right thing to wear.
on the outset it might sound like a bimbo problem.
but the sense of urgency i felt in the dream.. yikes, it was like my life depended on it man!

haha.

I MISS DRIVING.

like really.

so in order to at least rent a car, i need to go replace my driving license. which at least isnt that ex. 25 bucks. but at ubi sia.

and i am experiencing a weird phenomenon. i am actually not broke.. but am damn damn scared to spend because i dont want to become broke.
the feeling sucked so bad the last time that i never wana get there again.
hate having to ask anyone for money, or my dad for more money.
especially now.

well anyway, i still need to buy gifts for people.
haha like really belated ones.

i am also EXPECTING a few belated gifts!
HMPH.

haha.

alright, till again then.

back2sch.

2009-08-14T01:04:00.000+08:00

so here we begin, the last lap of this four-year journey that, in retrospect, feels like four months.

how fast and frivolously have i spent my moments in CS. gosh.

well, so, back to school it is.

lectures, friends, food, lectures. gossip- sometimes.
the things that have changed since yr 1! gosh. for one, i totally understand UEs and PEs and GER-PEs. that must count for something.

i am glad being back in school.

i am a student, and therefore, i will do stupid things.
heh, just for one more year.

then i will promise to become an adult, okay?

ha. toodles.

where are you?

2009-08-11T23:26:00.000+08:00

you said to call if i need cheering up.

where

are

you?

haha.:)

memories.

2009-08-10T23:21:00.001+08:00

they constrict.

home sweet home

2009-08-10T02:27:00.000+08:00

it feels oh so great to have my laptop back in my arms!
haha, had no idea that i missed it so much mann.
school's gonna open so soon. and then time is gonna pass in a blur.

i am looking and not looking forward to it at the same time. it has been 8 months after all!
plus i have to make my matric card. i dont even know whether i really need to, since i graduate in a year.

ever since last dec, i havent had a wallet, just a pathetic purse to house my important cards and to hoard receipts. heh.
i do have a spare wallet, but it is white, how will i ever maintain it!

that reminds me. SOME PEOPLE WHO HAVENT GOTTEN ME GIFTS (ATTN AMIN AND CUTE AND NARJ)
you can get me a watch, and perfume.
thanks.

alright, i dont know why i am up really.
i am sleepy and i should sleep.
but i so love staying up late.

:)

toodles.

i..

2009-08-09T17:25:00.000+08:00

miss you so.

and i know my sis is gonna ask me who i am talking about. haha.
bo privacy la. keke. :p

back from dhaka!

2009-08-07T20:03:00.002+08:00

before i launch into my recount, i should say that i just did something that has left me.. well, ego-bashed? guess i should really really..well, stop thinking.

okay anyway, so wow. singapore, here. i. am.

i have been thinking of ways to put my thoughts about bangladesh in words, but the moment i think, i am consumed by an overwhelming feeling.
you could say that many things there were in excess: heat, dirt, population, noise, staring. and oh yes, the oil in their food.

when i got used to my surroundings, i was left with a dismal air of depression.
dhaka, the capital of dreams for those living in the villages. but the urbanisation there leaves much to be desired. albeit that was expected.

many colonial buildings as a ghost of their colonial pasts. the outsides belied the disastrous insides, seriously.

disorder, chaos.

shabby buildings.

but that's for the dreary part.
if you put aside all the men who stare at women as if they have three eyes and five noses, ok no wait, maybe as if they have 2 pairs of boobs, then there are the really nice accommodating people who spared time for us despite their busy schedules and went out of their way to make sure we got what we wanted.

while we were not treated like royalty or whatever, partly because we "immersed" in the population by living in a middle-class hotel in the heart of the capital, many people did go out of their way for us.

that was a pleasant feeling, but because i also experienced that in sri lanka, their warmth didnt come rushing at me. in fact, i was looking past it. and all i saw was sadness, and struggle. an absolute lack of happiness in the air.

in the village at sri lanka, people had little, plus they were affected by the tsunami, but they were happy. you could feel it.

here, people love their country, and some of them are optimistic beyond being realistic, but i felt the fatigue, the sadness. and by the 4th day of something, it started to weigh down on me.

traveling was in a nutshell a nightmare. took minimum 45 min to get from point A to B. no following traffic light signals. the only way to get anywhere by foot is jaywalking. haha, well cos of that i am a bold jaywalker now.

anyway, i am still coming to terms with my visit and my feelings, and at the end of it all, my stories and my purpose!

so here's till again.

jal

love in the air

2009-07-28T01:20:00.002+08:00

-that's the title of the book i just finished reading.
it's by an author called james collins, and it was the first time i read him.

quite impressive i must say.

a typical storyline, but vivid description.
left me with beautiful visuals.

on the subject of authors, gosh. i have no idea why, but my ability to retain authors' names in my memory is close to zilch. even if i thoroughly enjoyed the book. which can be highly frustrating!

anyhow, only 2 days more to Bangladesh.
i am partly glad, partly sad to admit that it was only today that i truly found out what i want to do there, the stories i want to pursue.

i have been feeling terrible. like a bogus journalist.
the feeling is, if i might repeat, terrible.
i am doing the little i can do to redeem myself.
i feel judged, and it feels awful.

but i shall try my best. to have faith in myself.

on another end, i am going to miss rayn eshan very very much.
it will be the FIRST time i dont see him for so long.
and i worry.

and what more?
the heart is a complicated little thing, isn't it?

holidays holidays

2009-07-11T15:27:00.002+08:00

well, i decided to put up a short post.
after a long time.
one of my last few posts led to a string of events which was basically disastrous.
i am pretty much in rehab now.
it feels good.
but as all people in rehab will feel, the temptation never dies.
although in my case, it should pretty soon.

my hols have been fulfilling so far.
i have been nannying a very very active and huggable and squeezable little monster.
haha, amazing man. the sweetness, cheekiness and the amount of energy!

there are things to talk about.

i want to talk about all of them.
but right now i should go and get ready.
to meet feebs!it's been loooong.
i am slowly catching up with my friends.
anyone else wana meet up? :)

take care.
ciao!

sweeping the dust off

2009-06-19T14:33:00.001+08:00

thanks anu, for making my day!
my best friend is like family to me.
love you!!!

waiting for the performance

2009-05-27T13:25:00.002+08:00

haha. well, the interns have been arrowed to put up a little performance during an occasion named chardonnay, which different desks host at different times.
it is meant to be fun time, and boy have we made up an entertaining performance.
i am actually kinda excited.
but for god's sake, it has been a long time since i had to do anything in front of a large crowd.

hehe it involves song and dance, and therefore pretty much lots of opportunity for embarrassment.
you know free style dancing sits well with me, but i really hate to remember and practise choreographed steps. hahaha.
gosh, the times which i forgot the steps.. like during the ACS(I) competition- i am sure my sis remembers since she is the one who actually choreographed it, and did an AMAZING job at that!

yeah. got a few more things to do. feeling a little saddled.
but anyway, last night we stayed till quite late practising it.
and then we went for dinner with ben, cheekin and kim! :)

almost all the interns.
was real good fun.

anyway, you know, if this was my personal diary, you would be reading lots and lots and lots more things at this point of my life.
erm, sisters, if yall are interested..haha. dont ask me. :p

love love, jal

working away from office

2009-05-20T14:44:00.002+08:00

has been a refreshing change.
although i was stuck in a hospital instead.
i think practically everyone could recognise me when i went back yesterday.
i was there from 0945 to 1930 on Monday!

nothing exciting in my life now currently, except i got to know someone new, and have been talking to this person a lot more than i have been talking to anyone new.. for the past three months?

well, the thing about writing such things in a blog is that sometimes its sad, when i look back on my archives.

cos more often than not, the person and i would have lost touch already.
i question the time and energy spent on these people sometimes.
but well, it usually becomes a happy habit.
and once in a while, these people stay as my good friends.

it's great to have friends from a wide array of backgrounds.
you really hear different sorta life stories.. very different from my own.

think that many of those who go through the jc-uni route are sheltered.
they don't know what others going through, and sadly, their lives revolve around a very narrow reality.

while i am sheltered enough, i think i have lived vicariously through these different characters i have met from the shady virtual world.
some people have really taught me some useful lessons. :)

anyway, i haven't uploaded photos from my birthday cos i wana do it one-shot.
i need to take a photo of the very very touching beautiful card that rayn made for me with the help of his mummy.

haha, coming up coming up.

all in all, i have had a pretty satisfying birthday.
haha, narcissistic me, talking about it one week on!
haha.

anyway, the gift count sure drops as you grow older.
;)

till again!

i might have a crush

2009-05-15T22:41:00.001+08:00

on pitbull.
how come i never knew he's white.
he doesnt sound it.
like JT.
i like him! :D

10 more min

2009-05-15T18:19:00.002+08:00

i figure i wanna blog before i leave office.
i will update with pics from my bday soon. including one of the card that my darling rayn made for me.
but i am still leaving cutie to explain her mistake, ummu!
haha. :)

all in all, i had a great birthday!

i like celebrating growing older.
but maybe only for like 2 more years?
hahahha.
plans for the weekend..
playing badminton with anu in the morning tmr.
i am probably going for a picnic at botanic gardens with the ST people after that.
and sunday, badminton as usual with my dad!

well, that's the lowdown.
off i go!
see you soon.

sam the man

2009-05-13T12:00:00.004+08:00

and then i came to office and saw this. haha. so sweet of sam!
but the back cannot be revealed.
naughty boy you sam!
thanks for the effort! really made my day! :))

and thats him! :)

11 hours

2009-05-13T10:56:00.002+08:00

into my special day and i am already overwhelmed.
some reasons i can't say. ;)

oh.my.god.
my sis just called me from my house!
and rayn insisted that i was home.
oh oh, i hope he is not angry with me.
he called me and asked: "Where are you?"
She said he is in a very good mood.
i want to seeeee himmmmm!!!

sometimes it is so hard to leave him and go and see my friends.
although i know i need to keep in touch with my friends as well.
he is sooo irresistable.
and when i am with him, i really have twice the fun- the kinda fun.. well, adults cant match up to it, thats why. :p

anyway, i have gotten quite a few smses already!
and anu was sooooo sweet.
she woke up extra early and came to my house in the morning!
i told her i need to get up at 8.
but of course i wasnt awake, and i heard someone knocking the room door.
but i didnt actually guess it was her!
hahahha but when i woke up i actually said "i knew it!"
although i didnt hahahahah.

anyway, she made me breakfast! :D

sweetnesssss.

=D

birthday eve

2009-05-12T15:45:00.003+08:00

there are so many things i want this year!
hahahhahaa.
i dont know who's gonna read it, or this is too full of myself, but i am gonna write out a wishlist, so here goes.

in no particular order

1) earphones that wont fall out of my ears when i go running
2) new swimming costume (so i dont look like i am from the 90s)
3) SHOES SHOES SHOES- slippers, heels, mary janes, pumps, anything really.
3) jeans- i dont have blue or black ones.- hahahaha not anymore! i got them in the evening. on impulse. but you can reimburse me. :p
4) watch- preferably a coolio adidas one
5) earrings- gold ones, among anything- cos everytime i dress up, i realise i dont have gold ones. i need studs as well, for once in a while. hehehe.
6) chunky bangles
7) i want a new camera! haha.

okay that's about it. i am gonna give myself a hair makeover as well. :)

yay. it's birthday time.

okay anyway, my sis says this skin doesn't suit me.
she says i should have something metallic.
and cool.
finally hear it from the horse's mouth. that i am cool.
hahahahhahaha.

no la, i am hot. right?

:p

i like my new skin!

2009-05-11T10:46:00.002+08:00

but can someone tell me how to include my archives?
i tried to copy and paste from my previous template but it didnt work.
jared??
:)

start of a new week.
got to work earlier than my frequent 10am.
haha. damn.

sadness, i brought my memory card to upload photos, but not a memory card reader.

my sis is not well. and neither is my nephew now. they are having some viral thing.
get well soon my dearies!
i think that it's really easy to fall sick in singapore.
cos it is so densely populated.

in the mrt, if one person sneezes or coughs, the bacteria will be hanging in the air for at least 2 min before the train door opens again.
and the weather..gosh.
we totally get roasted in the sun.
then when we enter a shopping centre- its like BAM, cool air.
step out again, and WHAM, it's hot air.

easy to fall sick.

everyone, take care okay!
have sufficient rest and take lots of vitamin C. :)

I MISS RAYN SO MUCH cos i spent almost the whole day yesterday with him, from the time he got up at 9am.
he was in an excellent mood, though devilish at times.
was on a mission to not sleep.
and he succeeded.
adorable thing he!

i carried him when he was sleeping aft a long time. hahhaa.
a lot heavier than the last time. which is a good thing. :)

i worry about when he grows up and is too embarrassed to be close to mimmi joe.
:s although i will be a youngish and hip aunty(compared to his other aunties)
hahaha

anyway, bday wish list coming up! :D

sleep late so tomorrow won't come

2009-05-10T23:01:00.002+08:00

haha. that's how i used to feel whenever i was gonna collect major results- my o level and a level results to be specific.

that's not how i feel right now.
but it's scary how SO many ppl sleep late.
to put it against how important sleep is SUPPOSED to be! gosh.

happy mothers' day to any mother who might be reading my blog, and all your mothers as well.

please do appreciate the fact that your mothers are there.
unless they have given you reason to hate them- this sad case might be rare, but sometimes, just sometimes, it is justified.

the weekend that just past seemed to stretch.
maybe cos it started on friday night.
it was kim's birthday!
and we celebrated it at butter factory.
it was the most fun for the firs two hours, when we were in the hiphop section.
it is scary how ppl ENJOY house or trance or techno or whatever the other genre was.
i cant get my mind around it.
anyway i decided to stick around cos i didnt wana be a wet blanket.
but gosh some of my colleagues are CRAZY.

i realised at that point that i will never be CRAZY while clubbing, cos only alcohol can give that effect.
and you know what? i am glad about it.
it can get pretty unclassy when people let go of themselves totally.
a club is not a good place to do it, at least according to me.

haha i admit that is judgemental though. :)

saturday was good because i met my two absolutely LOVELY best friends.
i say the same thing every time i meet them, and this time was no different.
i love them. like from the bottom of my heart.
i have accepted them, and i believe they have accepted me.

sigh, being with them is so.. free.

the understanding is priceless. :)

i have photos! yay!!!
haha. will upload them tmr when i get to work. i do wana have an assignment, but like no drive leh?
maybe cos it is my bday week haha.
oh, talking about that, i am gonna blog a list soon!
though i doubt i will get what i want. hehehe.

alright, sis is waiting for her laptop.
till next time then! :)

pompous singaporeans

2009-05-07T17:09:00.002+08:00

many a time, when i ask people for their names, they refuse.
okay, i understand that some people are SHY.
but most people think that everyone who is gonna be reading that article is going to recognise them.
gosh, for god's sake, worse come to worst, they are going to message or call and say "hey! i saw your name in the paper!"
like okay.. so what?
unless it is for something bad or embarrassing- that i understand.

but even for the slightest thing, they are like NO.
so irritating.

okay that aside, i have been having huge inertia coming to work for the past 2 days, dont know why.
but i guess now everything is okay once i have come.
:)
maybe it is just the fear of getting my stories canned- cos the feeling sucks.
but it is part and parcel of it i guess. :)

i shall be meeting my two best friends this saturday- actually three, cos i will be meeting jun as well. and then playing badminton with my dad on sunday!
:)
sounds good to me. of course, i will be seeing my nephew as well.

alright, waiting for my story to be edited now.
till again (soon it seems)
jal

snap to the past

2009-05-06T01:04:00.002+08:00

i was reading through some of my older posts.
gosh, i don't know whether my writing reflects it, but i think i have changed.
and personally, for the better.
saw some photos of rayn from his baby days too. time flies is a cliche, but one that is hard to replace when you really think about it.

so many times, i have trouble recalling what i did the previous week, because it ended before i could even absorb fully what happened.
quite scary.
soon enough i will be hitting 60, shriveled up, still single and wondering what the hell i have done with my life.

i think about death very often. what if i die? what if the people who matter to me die? And i am talking anyone who matters, even just acquaintances who cheer me up. I think about individuals, and being at their funeral. I think it is some sort of a preparation process. Because it will happen one day, if i myself am alive to witness it.

So O’ brothers! Remember death as often as you can in the 24 hours of your daily life and make this your habit. It could be your turn next then your friends, family and neighbours will place you under the ground.
Start now before if it is too late!

I got this from a Muslim website. We are encouraged to think about death- it is an unescapable reality.

I wonder how I will die, like really.
i can't rem what the facebook quiz said, but it was pure trash. hehe.

anyway, i was happy that i ate less than necessary today.
till i went over to my sister's house.
amin bought a cheeseburger for both of us. it was nothing short of sumptuous!

every night, i go to bed thinking that i wana wake up earlier and exercise.
but NO, it has not happened even once in the past 4 months.
except for that one saturday where ben, kim, carol, her bf, and i were supposed to go running.
i got up at 7. and then i couldnt go back to sleep although the rest were not gonna run.
so i went running alone.
was such a shiok feeling
the day was excellent.
i went home and had a shower just in time to join my sister, amin, rayn and zai for breakfast and swensens-their breakfasts are suited for kings, by the way.

and then spent the rest of the day at the expo, where cutie(my 3rd sis) very sweetly bought a few things for me. :))

i still remember! gosh, it was more than a month ago.

photos of i dont know what.. something anything coming up.
cos if not this will be become an essay-ish blog.

haha. :))

alright, till again!

say my say my name

2009-05-04T18:29:00.002+08:00

haha i am in a real random mood,
and be warned that my post has nothing to do with the title of my post.
haha, they always change my suggested headlines, so i figure they are never good enough anyway ke ke ke.

look at me, blogging instead of writing out my monthly PI logbook entry.
haha, at least this month i have written down things that i have learnt!
but really, the learning curve is pretty damn steep.
and i am glad.

i think swine flu news is getting old.
and no matter what you change the name to (Influenza A (H1N1)), people are just gonna call it swine flu.
anyway, well, i am glad that the govt is taking such precautions, but i dont think these precautions need to be covered so extensively.

but either way, i do hope it does not hit our shores.

i know that during the sars time, everything was just a blur cos we were 16 and nothing seemed to matter.
i actually went for a party when school was shut.
the awareness and the panic levels were low, at least in people my age.
actually even now, i think people dont really know the facts or care much, but they are just taking the lead from media coverage and deeming it as a BIG deal/

anyway on a lighter note, my long weekend was well-spent.
went over to kavitha's and we did some good catching up! abandoning the movies we were supposed to watch. :)
and then on saturday, went for a wedding and then to a club with my sisters.
been soo long since i danced to tamil songs.
was real fun!

my sisters are my best clubbing partners, cos pardon me, it just helps that they don't need to get high to have fun!
no offence at all intended at anyone else.

i only had 6 hours of sleep, and then played badminton with the SIM peeps for 2 hours, went home, rested for like an hour, and then went back to play badminton with my dad for an hour.

then got home, took a shower and headed down to have durians! shiok. (:
and then, when i was half asleep, they decided to go to mustafa!
gosh.
i really had to force myself not to sleep standing, or walking.

i am holding off any illness, alth the sneezes are coming.
hard not to when people in the office are sniffing.

well, here's to zai's berocca, hot water and sleep!

ps: anu, get well soon!!! :)

i'm back!

2009-04-26T14:49:00.002+08:00

after more than three months.
the funny thing is, i really think it's cos i have been eating mangoes- it reminded me of my neglected mangofever.
so here i am.
i probably can't take you through my whirlwind life of the past three months.
but i can summarise that it's definitely been a lot more happiness than sadness.
more stress than school sometimes.
i am glad i didn't have to do exams, but at the same time there were days i missed school. when i was having a bad day at work.
guess that's lucky, because i still know i have an avenue away from worklife.
like my sis said, i will never know how it feels until i am in it FOR LIFE.
a life term sounds long when it is sentenced to a criminal, but haha, you know, everyone who works is also sentenced to life.

of course, if you love your job, it make things a lot easier.
:)
i cant profess to "love" my job, cos i would think i don't know the entire works.
it might be different if i start working there full-time.
but whatever i am doing now, i love it!

there are certain things, certain people who piss me off.
but haha, that's part of life ain't it?
think i have gotten it better than others, so i shall count my blessings!

i am actually stalling for time now, cos i am supposed to go to work.
haha.oh well! it's gonna rain.
i was hoping to ENJOY the rainy weather.. at home.
it's been so hot the past few days. i am sure i lost some weight from my fats melting away.
hehehehe. :p

alright!
adios, more updates coming up yo

before i leave

2009-01-14T21:49:00.002+08:00

haha no, not the blogging world, although it doesnt actually matter.
it's before i leave work.
:)
i am actually waiting for this girl, Kimberly, cos she's going to drive near my place, and leaving in about ten.
lucky me.
:)

some things i have been wanting to blog about
-singaporeans are actually a lot more gracious than they are given credit for.
that day when my sis and i entered the train with Rayn, three 2 ppl gave up their seats so that my sis and i could sit with Rayn. and there was never a time when i entered the train alone with Rayn that i wasnt offered a seat. and i see so many people offering seats, whether Priority seat or not. i think it is unfair to point fingers at a whole society when it is only a handful who taint the name of Singaporeans in general.
-work!haha. well well, how's it been going, really? well, i had a really scary experience, which in a nutshell, involves a fella calling me and telling me that he is not happy with me, asking me for my name, and making it seem as if he was gonna complain to my bosses; that was just on my SECOND day. imagine the terror. many thanks to Amelia and Cheryl for calming me down! Amelia is a heaven-sent senior from CS who is at Newsdesk too, she told me not to worry about it. and Cheryl, she just told me to stop obsessing over it. it actually.. worked. haha. pretty good feeling seeing my byline. now i am officially, even to those who dont know me, a Baker. haha.too early to say how i feel, but i think my adrenaline has been working quite a bit.
-Rayn!well, with work and all, surely gonna be seeing him less. quite a heartache. but i still do see him! it is like one of those things. he makes a tired soul un-tired.but still, gosh, sometimes, all i need to do is to think of him to smile, no matter how stressed i am. i thank God, my sis and amin for this. and amin, if you happen to be reading this, i love you!
-having a life. dont really have one at the moment, cos it is hard to fix appointments, cos things are unpredictable. quite sad there, cos i cant play in the captains ball competition this yr. partly cos i cant go for trainings, but also because i dont know if i can even make it on the competition day, seeing as it is that i am indian and have no reason to take leave on CNY, unless i am secretly married to a Chinese man. met up with Val, Jun and Wanyu on Monday night. was ohsogood to meet up with them!and on the shopping front, i need to go working clothes shopping!

ok gotta go.
thanks for staying tuned!:DD

inspiration

2008-12-15T11:42:00.002+08:00

i have been inspired by Wanyu to blog.
she is sitting beside me, and she knows i havent updated my blog, which means she must have entered my blog!

hahaha.

have had no inspiration to blog, for no apparent reason.
right now, i am at my SPH training.
i know whatever this guy is talking about because i went for the first half of the previous session, and then went back halfway cos of cramps.

i dont know whether cramps are too intimate a thing to divulge, but man, i do need to tell you they were TERRIBLE.
my first time having cramps.

i didnt really enjoy the first session because well, cos of the cramps, cos no one seemed to care that i was in pain(dunno whether i expected too much) and cos i pretty much felt left out.

i am A LOT happier today, thanks to may and wanyu. (they are both sitting beside me)

well, to flashback, my hols have been pretty eventful: anu's return, KL holiday with family, staying over with my sis, clubbing outing, parties, swimming, etc etc. i actually do have photos and stuff.

gosh, that reminds me! my laptop.
havent sorted it out yet.
SUCH A PROCRASTINATOR i am.
oh and i am on a chick-lit spree.
it is so liberating.
only prob is when i take out these books in public places, i feel all those judging eyes. hehehe.
why are all the covers pink, dammit!

haha.
well, i am gonna try coming back to the blogworld.
ease me along by tagging k?
thanks.
much love.

smiling more today

2008-11-19T20:22:00.001+08:00

:)
haha. literally what i mean.
things look a lot better today.
a huge part of me has let go.
:)

and i have been studying with ultra concentration.
here i come, BRAG!

ouch, that hurt.

2008-11-18T03:42:00.001+08:00

seriously, my mind is a whirl.
thinking about exams, but unable to get one more thing out of my head.
like why.
please dont ask what this is about.
it has been a long time since anyone had such a great effect on me.
i feel juvenile.
i am so confused.
why the hell should i waste my time and emotions on someone who doesnt even care?
why why why.
why did you turn out this way.
i had faith in you. that you would at least turn out to be nice.
you made me think so.
and you spoilt it all.
you disappeared.

Be Right Back

2008-11-03T00:37:00.000+08:00

on a whim, i changed my blog skin recently.
but i realise i have no time to customise it.
i will be back soon! maybe when i am stressed studying and need a break?
hehe. please visit my blog soon for a spanking new design.
ha ha ha.

JAL.

PLEASE HELP WITH SURVEY!

2008-10-30T15:08:00.001+08:00

those who have already seen it, please help me do this survey!
PLEASEEEE.
thanks!

http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.aspx?sm=eoGOgww4SkNZTN857mrSwg_3d_3d

lantern festival long ago!

2008-10-15T11:53:00.001+08:00

haha, from very very long ago.
August!
we had so much fun!
my darlings
it was my first time holding a real lit-up traditional paper lantern.
and i was so scared it was gonna catch fire.
which it eventually did.
but we killed no one.
haha, we played with sparklers.
and discovered the pyromaniac in wan yu.
you guys are full of surprises. hehehe. :D

New Post

2008-10-09T01:25:00.002+08:00

I very much agree that my blog is in need of a new post.
so here it is.
unfortunately, it is devoid of photos because my sis has all, and she has sent me none.

there are Hari Raya photos to show!
and there are happy experiences to speak of.
and there are birthday party photos to upload.
all in due time.

right now.
all i wana do.
is lie down, and think.
and smile.

like an idiot. :))

what is new?

ha ha ha ha.

so this is a happy post.
many more happy posts to come i hope.

CLASSIC PRIMITIVE: A Violent Experience

2008-09-28T11:45:00.004+08:00

Only in the recounting of this experience did i find the powerlessness of words to capture the emotions any single one experience can cause.

As a police case, it is small.
To those who were not there, it is small.
To those who may have only heard, it might seem small.

The inaccuracy of words to convey the strength of emotions felt can cause hurt and confusion.

And here it goes.

My sis and i and rayn went to this bloody shop, CLASSIC PRIMITIVE at QUEENSWAY SHOPPING CENTRE on the second floor, to shop for jeans for my sis last evening. And the experience we got is a whole lot more than we bargained for. from a bespectacled bitch.

My sis tried two pairs of jeans, but both didnt look good, and she didnt have what we wanted, so after that, i suggested that we leave the shop. While we were on the way out, the fucked up bitch said: " In this shop, if you want to seriously buy jeans, you must try properly."

Wait, wth is try properly? but never mind. for the very reason that this sentence is un-understandable, my sister asked, "What do you mean?" in the most civil tone anyone could ever use to a saleswoman who is starting to piss you off.

And this woman, failing to comprehend my sister's question, repeats. And repeats what she said. And at one point of time, although i didnt hear it, my sis said she said: "Try try, then don't buy!"

Score one for a rhyme. But bitch, if you cant handle the SALES line,lock yourself in your room and lick the dirt off your toes.

Before long, when she realised her arguement was heading nowhere, she said "GET OUT OF MY SHOP".
now. that one sentence is enough for us to get her to CASE.

and my sis did not leave. and in all holiness, she should not have. being chased out by a woman who has given you such horrible customer service, for no apparent reason?

a situation that calls for standing up for yourself, even if you knew it would escalate matters and there would be no solution.

because, the moment you walk out the door after she says that, you are:
1. telling her it is ok to chase customers out
2. that you think you deserve to be chased out cos you didnt buy anything
3. that because she owns the store, she owns your rights to stand in there

but anyway, my sis calmed herself down within a whole 5 seconds, and in a remarkably sensible tone said: "As a customer, it is my right to do what i want." And she went off to look at more clothes.

And what happened next is enough to win the bitch an Oscar if they have a title for "Best Defence for Crazy Sales Bitches".

She picked up the phone, hit my sister with it, and then went on to call the police. yes, you read that right. SHE went to call the police.

and she did a fucking convincing performance of being harrassed and attacked.
i cant explain any further without the aid of an video, which i really hope i had taken.
however, i was holding rayn and therefore, i was quite torn, not knowing what to do.
and it never occurred to me to take a video.

when i went to join my sister, she started tell the police on the phone that "Ah! Help, now they are pressing against me. Please come faster. They are threatening me." complete with sound effects.

and then when my sis tried to leave the shop after that, she blocked my sister's exit, and READ: TOOK A HANGER AND HIT MY SIS ON HER HEAD, BACK and SHOULDERS till the HANGER BROKE.

well i beat her once, and she lashed out at me with the hanger as well.

but sense came to me, and i realised, the victim loses his case if he retaliates too much.

anyway, she then pulled my sister's hair with both her hands.and pushed a rack of her own clothes down in the process. my sis forced me to go away cos rayn was still there, and i left.
OH, AND AT THE END OF THE INCIDENT, THE CRAZY BITCH HAD SELF-INFLICTED SCRATCHES.

she broke free after that and called the police.

now let me tell you the 2 most disgusting things out of this thing that happened:
1. about 100 people watched it happening, and no one entered to help my sister, who was very obviously being attacked. i suppose the men swallowed their dicks. and the women.. well. seriously, where are the humans in Singapore guys?
2. a lady was in the shop when the incident just started. she dropped everything and scooted out of the shop, only to return 10 min later when everything had simmered down. morals people, morals.

my sister then gave her statement to the police, and the bitch did as well. would you believe this? after this happened, the saleslady belonging to IMH or the grave was all smiles, the picture of peace, and telling other customers of the tragedy that had befallen her.

the policeman strongly recommended my sis to go to the hospital to have a medical checkup, just in case the crazy bitch takes the matter to court.
and lo and behold, the bitch had gotten there before us! for her self-inflicted scratches no doubt, and unstable mind, hopefully.

well, then, i found myself face to face with the disgusting objectivity of law. how when you know who is actually in the right, who the victim is, and yet the fabrication of a situation can lead to doubts.

evidence is given so much importance (of course, there is no other way) and that in itself, lends as a huge disadvantage when you want to seek justice.

i am left feeling powerless even though i watched the entire incident.
now we just gotta wait for the next step from the police.

the irony of this is that we have visited this store before, and i recommended my friend to buy my black skinny jeans from here.

anyway, please please please, DONT EVER GO TO THIS STORE.
the store owner is a hazard to customers.
and please spread the word around.
thanks.

thanks guys!

2008-09-28T11:41:00.000+08:00

thanks so much for all the reassuring tags!
really, i am feeling markedly better in the friends department.
and whatever you guys said really helped!
i have a doubt though, who is arun?

haha. anyway, my sis told me it is better to have at least one very close friend than none at all.
:)
and that made me feel lucky.

so, my dry spell is over.
maybe it is time for me to stop thinking of issues that make me insecure, and instead, just concentrate on school AND NOT SKIP LESSONS. right narj? hehe.

yes yes, i have faced an awful lack of motivation in terms of going for lessons.
probably prompted by the fact that i do not have friends to meet and go with, like theres nothing to look forward to (except what to wear, ha ha ha).

but wth, my education is mine. i should make the best out of it. :)

once again, thanks so much to everyone who cares. :))

i feel friendless

2008-09-16T16:19:00.002+08:00

oh so lonely.
and it is so getting to me.
what is the point of having so many friends, i wonder..
when at a time i need comfort, need someone to confide in, there doesnt seem to be anyone around.

miss you so much anu!

well, i guess there are people i could confide in, but theres always that distinct feeling that i am disturbing, intruding, disrupting.
no matter how much they insist otherwise.

more and more, the notion of self-centredness is becoming obvious.
people, by nature, care more about themselves than anyone else.
and trying to change this natural order always leaves me in such a sad state.

have i really no real friends anymore.
how many reading this blog (my friends) actually know anything thats happening with me.

and then it boils down to the real question.

how many actually care.

Help the Autism School : at just $31.80

2008-09-08T22:20:00.002+08:00

What flavors of mooncakes are Starbucks selling?
Starbucks celebrates the mid autumn festival with its innovative, range of handcrafted snowskin mooncakes –
Starbucks® Signature Espresso Roast Caramel Truffle, Raspberry Framboise Truffle and our new addition - White Chocolate Macadamia Truffle, a delicious complement to your favorite coffee, as well as making a great gift for friends and family.

What are the ingredients in these mooncakes?
Starbucks mooncakes are innovative and handcrafted with the finest ingredients:

Starbucks® Signature Espresso Roast Caramel Truffle

Snowskin: Milk, sugar, snow skin premix, glutinous rice, shortening, vanilla essence, chocolate powder, espresso roast coffee

Filling: White lotus paste, whipping cream, white chocolate, white chocolate truffle shell, butter, Starbucks® espresso roast, caramel sauce, sugar

Raspberry-Framboise Truffle

Snowskin: Milk, sugar, snow skin premix, glutinous rice, shortening, vanilla essence, permitted colouring

Filling: white lotus paste, white chocolate, white chocolate truffle shell, whipping cream, raspberry puree, butter, sugar

White Chocolate Macadamia Truffle

Snowskin: Macadamia nuts, milk, sugar, snow skin premix, glutinous rice, shortening, vanilla essence, permitted colouring

Filling: White lotus paste, white chocolate, white chocolate truffle shell, whipping cream, butter, sugar, glucose, vanilla beans

Are Starbucks mooncakes suitable for vegetarians?
It depends on your diet restriction; please kindly refer to our ingredient listing for more information.

Can you tell me more about Pathlight School?
Pathlight is the first Autism-focused school that offers a unique blend of mainstream
academics and life-readiness skills. You can read more about them on their website www.pathlight.org.sg

Why is Starbucks collaborating with Pathlight School?
Starbucks has been partnering Pathlight for over 4 years in various activities from helping them set up a café in their school to fundraising for their new premises. Our objective this year is to help Pathlight create greater awareness about Autism.

Can I order the mooncakes in advance?
Yes. You may place your order with any Starbucks store located conveniently over the island. We recommend that you inform us of the quantity you require at least 2 working days before the intended date of collection.

Alternatively, you can call our support centre at 6513 7500 between Mon – Fri from 9.30am till 5pm.

How can I contact Starbucks if I have questions about my order?
We are happy to assist your enquiry at 6513 7500 between Mon – Fri between 9.30am till 5pm.

When is the latest that I can make an order in advance for the mooncakes? / When is the last collection for all mooncakes?
Last order for mooncakes is on 10 Sept 2008.

© 2008 Starbucks Coffee Company. All rights reserved.

the sad life of a crooked cutter

2008-09-08T16:53:00.002+08:00

haha.
why are my fine motor skills not developed?!
i cannot cut straight (sad for someone who loves making cards)
and i cant draw straight lines with a ruler either.

i have tried self-talk like "i am sure i can cut straight"
and applied unrelated techniques like driving techniques ( look far ahead to drive straight)

BUT NONE HAVE WORKED.

so to celebrate this sad story, i have included a video.
hopefully this helps people who have kids.
:)

issue i have.

2008-09-07T20:46:00.002+08:00

The Singapore Department of Statistics defines 'Indians' as a 'race' (or 'ethnic group'), comprising "persons of Indian, Pakistani, Bangladeshi or Sri Lankan origin, such as Telugus, Tamils, Malayalees, Punjabis, Bengalis, Sinhalese, etc."[4] The term 'Indian' therefore refers broadly to people from the Indian subcontinent, rather than the Republic of India.

Among Muslim Singapore Residents, 12.4% were Indian, with most of the remainder being Malay. Among Christian Singapore Residents, 6.0% were Indian, with most of the remainder being Chinese. Within the Christian community, Indians formed 10.3% of Roman Catholics, and 3.9% of Non-Catholic Christians (mainly Protestants).

For lack of time, this info is from Wikipedia.
I have had it hearing Indian Hindus being referred to as "Indians" and Indian Muslims as "Muslims".

"Indian" is a classification of race, and "Hindu/Muslim" is a classification of religion.

i am not angry or whatever. i just get peeved. sometimes i correct, and sometimes i ignore.

this is just a matter of education.
i guess being a minority within a minority sometimes poses problems.
but hope you have understood something from this post. :)

singapore + commercials = disaster?

2008-09-02T00:14:00.001+08:00

i can barely begin to understand.
that overused "i love you" explains NOTHING.

how did it ever get aired?

anyway, i keep thinking of blogging on a variety of issues. but everytime my fingers touch base with my keyboard, my mind/eyes/brain are assaulted with a range of much more pressing, urgent, world-altering issues.

fasting month starts today. :)
here's to a holy month!

drought on my blog

2008-08-21T10:07:00.002+08:00

haha.
been so long since i wrote anything here.
haha. damn, dont even have time to talk, how to blog right?

the only thing i want to have extra time for is to play with Rayn.

those of you who dont understand why he means so much to me, are probably strangers. :)

its really sad, sometimes i wish i didnt have to go to sch so that i can stay at home and play with him. he'll be growing up very very soon, and i want to treasure every single moment i have with him before he has his own friends and realises it is more fun to play with kids the same age as him.

i am NOT obsessed.
hehe.

i love my family,
and i dont know what else can ever matter more.

timetable confirmed.

2008-08-08T13:37:00.001+08:00

anuuu.
these are the modules i need to do for the whole of my 4th year, 2 sems. :))
jared, i am talking about yr 4, not this sem. :P you think i am not paying attn isit.

this sem i am doing 6 modules.
am happy with it now.
but it is really quite crazy.
early days.
start at about 9am everyday. thursday best, 8.30 am.

haha die laaaaa.

here comes an era of early days. and erm, skipping early lessons as welllll.
i have a five-day week.
doing econs, drama, and 4 CS mods.

this semester.

2008-08-07T23:56:00.003+08:00

i am lazy to put this down in black and white.
so this is sort of a personal note.
i shall be doing Media Law, Communication Campaigns, International Public Relations, 2 drama modules, one science module and one biz module in yr 4.

OMG.
7.
is that too many?
someone who knows, please tell me!
*perspires*

Corporate Structure

2008-08-07T15:10:00.002+08:00

That is what i am going to learn next.
yes yes, it is back to the usual drone of school.

i am somehow feeling a little anti-social this sem.
no idea why though.
miss seeing the people i usually see.
dont remember who i used to hang out with.

dont feel any real motivation to come to scool.
brb!

photos from my 21st.

2008-07-28T14:32:00.002+08:00

haha gotcha!
obviously the photos are not here.
but i got to see them!
will be uploading sooon.
these are from what zak/phoebe captured..
will be getting from my bro in law soon.

haha.

the memories are good.
except for the emcee bit.
:D

anyway, i gotta learn to enjoy myself.
for all this while you made me happy, and since you don't anymore, and don't even try, you're outta ma life.

:)

i will concentrate on what i have.
not yearn for what i don't seem to be getting.

haha what did you say cutie? i cant remember that profound line. he he he.

love love.
:D
school starts in one week!!!

letting go.

2008-07-20T23:06:00.002+08:00

sometimes, it is good to let go of people who dont deserve the amount of care you show them.

sometimes.

no matter how many times you have had to let go.

i am a fish.

2008-07-19T00:13:00.002+08:00

hehe. that is what i made sutha tell me.

i cant believe i forgot to blog about it.
cos i was so happy.
i can actually swim REAL laps now.
which includes the 1.8m part.

it happened on monday.
this group of people just kept sticking to the side at the woodlands swimming pool, preventing me from during usual horizontal laps.
so i told sutha, i am gonna go ahead and try the real lap. but i asked her to look out for me...
and it went a-okay.

i think i really like to swim.

it is really a different world down there. :)

joy aplenty

2008-07-12T11:09:00.002+08:00

we are going to the zoo zoo zoo.
:D
hahaha.
i am very happy.
i love my family.
many many.
=DD

hoarder

2008-07-09T12:01:00.001+08:00

i am such a hoarder.
gosh, my sis made me clear her room which is full of her things.
and i only found it in me to clear my sec sch stuff finally.
my jc things will find themselves homed for a lot longer.
the memories are so fresh.
history econs and tamil..
the slogging, the lessons, the feelings and the adventures.

i love SA, seriously.

laughing

2008-07-07T22:30:00.003+08:00

haha haha haha.
see, i am such a happy girl.
apparently, i laughed in my sleep last night, according to my sis.

and she, of course, laughed along with a SLEEPING girl.
hahahahahhaha.

in other news, i met anu today after quite a long time..
she is leaving soon..
am gonna miss you anu!
hug hug. :))

anyway, PLEASE PLEASE.
do not watch The Strangers.
it sucks so much, it is better than a vacuum cleaner.
hey, that was a good one! hahaha. :p

something to make you smile.

2008-07-07T22:28:00.003+08:00

i dont know this language as well.
but man, it makes me smile.
and it makes rayn go crazy.
i hope it makes you, too.
:)

of employment, and such.

2008-06-30T23:45:00.002+08:00

i apparently, got the job. :)
they never seem to say anything point-blank.
she just said "So i will be giving you a buzz sometimes mid-week next week then."

it is all well.

anyway, i swam my first "lap" today.
granted, it wasnt a real lap. cos we were in the teaching pool, and it was 1m, uniform.
but hey, we did swim the entire length.
which makes it more than 10 laps.
and i do feel it on my arms. :D

i am a little apprehensive still, about doing a real lap, cos i getting panicky knowing i am going towards 1.8m.
with time, with time.

in other news, i had loads of fun yesterday.
first, at lunch at amirah's grill. anusha's pre-bday celebration of sorts.
:)
where we played a few games, "Police, medic, detective" being my favourite.
buffet was worth it, $11.

and then went to play badminton with dad, Dhash and Sat.
i have not played doubles for a long long time.
and haha, i am afraid i took many of my dad's deserved shots.
whattodowhattodo.
but it was fun!
we will do it again SOON. Dhash.

OH. AND SORRY, I JUST HAVE TO SAY THIS.
we played matches.
and as long as i was in the team, we won.
HAHAHAHHAHA.
dhash dhash, you didnt make me eat my words up! hehehe. :p

photos will be up.
one day.
you know what my one day means.
thanks.

In My Own World.

2008-06-27T15:59:00.002+08:00

Doesn't that sound like a track off a rock compilation?
haha. i amuse myself.

Anway, i am reading this book called "Mad About The Boy."
Do not be misled, it is not a trashy romance.
It is an interesting mix of reality, mystery and suspense.
And as usual, i find myself spiralling into a made-up world.
I always do that, putting down a book only to be confused wondering which world I am in.
More often than not, i find myself feeling the protagonist's emotions.

Talk about getting in too deep.
But i oh so love the feeling! :DD

I was in my own world, but somewhere in my mind, i realised i haven't completed my course of antibiotics, so i had a quick meal, (egg and bread) and then came online to check my mail, again.

And hurrah, she did reply!
I am to go and meet another woman, the editor, at 11.30am on Monday.
Gosh, all for a bloody $400 allowance, and well, hopefully, priceless experience.

I just want to feel useful, dammit. hehehe.
i hear some pitter patter footsteps. the monster. my very own brown monster is up!!!
byeeee.
i will surely be back.
*salutes*

truly, a water baby!

2008-06-27T13:18:00.002+08:00

yayness! i think i have finally got it!
i actually felt comfortable in the water, not tired, like i am trying to do something i can't.
i didn't want to leave the water after that.

thanks to sutha, my personal coach.
who scolded me and encouraged me. :))

come swim with meeeee people!

hehehe.

the woman hasn't replied!
haiz. i should call her i guess.
i am OH SO SICK OF IT.
sucks sucks sucks.
cutie, you feel very uncontactable. :(

alright, i am going to read my book. :)

ciao.

rambles

2008-06-26T14:03:00.002+08:00

i shall ramble till sleep hits me, again.

basically all i have been doing everyday, at least for the past week..
is getting up, having breakfast, playing with rayn, going back to sleep,
getting up, playing with rayn, taking medicine, and then playing with rayn some more.

ha ha ha.

been having largely vegetarian meals.
and i have actually been enjoying eating vegetables.
whats happening to me!

ha ha ha.

and then i come online, check my mail, hoping that woman has replied.
and then i check my friendster, and go on msn, and the famed singapore indians.

gosh, i miss my friends.

everyone's so caught up with their own lives and work.
feel kinda cut out.

oh well, deal with it jal. :)

i am off.
to sleep, i think.
if the devil in the hall doesnt tempt me to play.hehe. :))

smile

2008-06-25T22:52:00.001+08:00

all it takes is a message from you to have me smiling from ear to ear.

*************************************************************

i am on a spree

2008-06-24T13:40:00.002+08:00

obviously.
but anyway, whats happening now?
i am probably on my way to getting a job.
and i am not feeling well.
and i am gonna like go read now.
cos i am drowsy and i need to sleep.
hope it hasnt been an overload.
till i feel like blogging again, bye!

my first fishing trip

2008-06-24T13:38:00.002+08:00

we caught no fishes at labrador park on that sunday.
and i guess i lost like 2 or 3 fishes cos i didnt play the game well enough, but oh well, it was a good-enough first experience. :)

our trip to jeanz

2008-06-24T13:27:00.002+08:00

a pic outside the toilet at Bugis
a pic inside Jeanz while waiting for the action to heat up.
and the aftermath the next day

i cant remember when we went.. a few days after my bday..
or the next day?
yeah. but sutha and i had a random trip to an indian club called Jeanz.
and boy, we had an experience.
happened to bump into some people we know from school.

anyway, we danced our bones away, and the next day, the two of us were hardly functional.
we dragged ourselves to places.

the most intensive cardio workout we have had, seriously.
and oh yes, meet sutha, my exercise partner.
=)
a secondary school friend friend i have known, but never really known.
well, i guess we are on our way now.

back to the present

2008-06-24T13:25:00.002+08:00

i love to hear footsteps in the afternoon.

they come running towards the hall.
a certain very delicious figure holding nana.
my dance partner,
my smile,
the light of my life.

words really can't explain a few things.

what i really did

2008-06-24T13:20:00.003+08:00

on my birthday.
hehe. i guess it is late, and not many people would remember the suspense i tried to create on my blog earlier.

anyway, i stayed over at my sister's place that night.
my sis stays near queenstown lib, so on that morning, i had a stroke of genius.
i decided that i should fulfill my fantasy of sitting at the library and sipping a drink while reading.

every time i have been to the library, it has been to study.

so, whatever i did was.. well..
it satisfied me in an inexplicable way.

anyway, my bday started fantastically, with my family springing a surprise on me.
seeing as it is that i was gonna get a 6kg cake for my bday party, i didnt expect a cake, but i got one!
a sumptuous one. :D
and at 12 midnight, my family gathered. just for me.
:D
and i got a few gifts, as you might have seen.

i went to meet reena in the afternoon.
i was late, and she was early.
but really, thanks to everyone i met that day. they made me feel like a princess.

we walked around vivo, had lunch at fig and olive for my sake.

thank god for reena, if not i would have felt real lonely throughout the day.

and then in the evening, met anu and khad.
anu and i went to thai express. i had dessert. shiok.
mango with glutinous rice.

then khad joined us at max brenners for some choco to get the endorphins really kicked in.
:p

and then we sat at esplanade and crapped.
and i had donuts bought from jb by my bro in law, and delivered to me by my sis. hehehe.

well yeah, thats what happened, more than a month ago.
back to the present.

SNAP!

bad day.

2008-06-20T19:36:00.001+08:00

it has been a bad day.

Jal's 21st Birthday- 130508

2008-06-19T23:20:00.007+08:00

my red clutch bag, one of my first gifts! from my family. :)

the item anu and khad deemed evil the night of my bday

a very unexpectedly sweet gift from my maid- contained $21.

hehe my dad and his writing. and the ever-prompt bday money

a very cool card from my sis and bro-in-law-to-be.

ooooh. shades. ;) from my family as well!

speaks for itself. thanks darls! :D

i requested for this btw- my all-time dream

keke we were not drunk- dont judge from anu's expression

my eyes were open

my eyes were closed

to capture the happiness

max brenner's fondue. :D yummmy

they got me my first cupcakes! :D

my new off-white pumps. :))

poor dearies were really tired after a long work day.

the sweetie pie who spent the day with me when everyone else was at work.

=D

what anu ordered. she was very hungry. you will see later.

a solo shot of the bday gal, taken by herself.

she decided to dig in before us! :p

appreciation

2008-06-17T23:41:00.001+08:00

is hard to come by nowadays.

appreciate the THINGS you have. the THINGS people do for you.
the PEOPLE who surround you, the PEOPLE who love you. the PEOPLE who do things for you.

and the world will be a better place.

late night/early morning

2008-06-14T05:39:00.001+08:00

back from clubbing and supper/breakfast.
who ever told people at mac that people have breakfast at 4 bloody am?

but anyway, Happy 5th Wedding Anniversary Mr & Mrs Amin! :))

i am pretty high strung, so i cant sleep.
plus i have found out that i have some ardent phantom fans who don't tag.
so i shall be blogging more often (fingers crossed)

i should ideally be uploading photos.. but gosh..
the thought itself is making me wana.. sleep.. how effective.

hahahahha.

oh by the way, i think you should.

stay tuned

2008-06-09T15:45:00.001+08:00

i dont know when, but another post will come soon.
i need to get off the comp NOW.
haha. :)
see ya.

snippets in photos1

2008-06-09T15:31:00.005+08:00

my sis(bivee) said this was blur.

so she said she will take the photo. and she did. in the mirror. with flash. haha.

we tried many innovative ways to take a photo ourselves. including moving of very heavy furniture.

and then we decided the smart way was to ask a third party. wow.

hmm.

i'm coming to getch ya!

OMG. smile smile

sweetness. comes in yellow today too. haha.

my sis says the cap suits her better. in this photo, i agree. :(

meet rayn eshan and nana, the two best looking ones in the family. heheheheh.

tiring

2008-06-09T15:22:00.002+08:00

hehehe.
i just finished uploading all the photos in my camera- the events that make up my recent history.
but then again, i dont take photos of EVEYTHING.
so more things have been happening than i have been able to capture.
wah, uploading photos is super leceh and tiring. :)

anyway, some of the new folders include my 21st bday ( as in on the day itself)
my treat to my family on may 18th, many photos of sutha and me, (sutha is my exercise partner now), a few random photos with happy bonzai( who gave me a birthday treat at lau pa sat), sutha's birthday surprise, suraen's bday.

oh yes, it is a month of birthdays.

come to think of it, i have no pics from kayal's bday party and phoebe's bday surprise. :)

and i havent blogged about kalai's bday party as well.

wow.

this is a lazy-to-blog month.

too many photos la.

what's up for this week?

1.meeting up with anusha!
2.reuniting with the cs darlings- guys we need to come up with a name for group identity
3.meeting up with kavi!and upon request, and permission from kavi, dinner with my jc class(first time ever)
4..upon request and permission from my sis, bowling outing with wild wild wet khakis (it's my sister's and bro-in-law's wedding anniversary that day)

other than that, exercise. :) and oh ya, lunch with khad!

oh ok, i sound like a loafer, but i have been looking for a job. sent out to 4 companies.
and tomorrow i shall make my way to one more company with my famed box. :)
well well, photos coming up. like now. :)

IOU note

2008-05-31T00:48:00.001+08:00

i owe this blog many things.
time and attention, primarily.

photos.

and my wild adventures.
with my bday party come and gone, and my birthday as well, i have so many things to share, so many thanks to express.

so much gratitude.

but for tonight, being another lazy night for me, i just want to depart with one message.

i love my dad.
to bits.
he makes my world go round.
MANY MANY LOVE AND KISSES.

My Collated Birthday Wishlist.

2008-05-22T12:56:00.005+08:00

1. Black Skinny Jeans: Reena is getting me this one.(she told me)
2. Red Skinny Jeans. Or any other colour you think might suit me. i like bright colours, and i believe i can carry them off :)
3. Shoes:
-Sneakers( there's this one i like from Far East- i showed Kavi!hehe. )
- i can do with any other types of shoes as well. if heels, please don't get higher than 3 inches, i cant walk in them. and my shoe size is 41. any smaller and i will cry wearing the shoes.
-Flip flops: Nike ones, i like. i liked the one at Gap. just something nice. i need! hehe.
4. Bag:
-From Zinc: a bag i can carry to school. big big bag, i am big so i can carry big bags!
-Sporty bag: for my coolio/hip-hop days.
-handbag: for my feminine days
5. Belt: for my jeans, and also a thin umpire belt. or a thick one.
my waist size( for jeans as well) is 32/UK 12 or 14, depending on the cut.
6. Make-up pouch
7. Wallet (long feminine, but not bulky) something classy
8.Watch ( phoebe knows i like the purple Levi's watch) 100 plus. it is a digital one.
9. Tops. hm. how about a voucher.
10. perfume: a voucher also? cos i myself dunno what scent i like.
11. Sponsorship for hair colouring :)
12. Stockings. (150 dernier i think? the thickest)
13. Tights? in a different colour. maybe navy blue, or brown, ankle length

as for the guys, if you dont know what to get for me, please just give money. seriously. i wont think bad if it is 10 dollars or anything. :))

Birthday, really?

2008-05-13T14:04:00.002+08:00

It's my birthday already, gosh.

well anyway, Reena might kill me if she knows i am blogging instead of getting ready to meet her.
but still, i had to tell the world(ok fine, whoever's reading i mean)
about what a great start it's been.

Thanks more than a million to my dearest family, who surprised me with a cake and gifts, which i did not expect at all!
now i have in my collection a swanky red clutch bag, and a pair cool shades.
oh, and coin pouch hahahah.
plus loads of bakerzinn cakes in my tummy.
hehhee.

did something i have fantasized about for many years.
keeping you in suspense for now.
will come back to blog.
SHIT. cam. not charged. gtg.

later!

differences.

2008-05-12T02:05:00.002+08:00

and the differences grow and confuse.

i hate it that i have to account for my opinions with you.
why.

and i sit here.

2008-05-09T17:57:00.002+08:00

been sending invites since 2pm.
my prized invite created by im.
he is a sweetie pie! been following me and giving excellent advice on my dress.
BUT the dress was decided by me in the end, so if it is not nice, it is not his doing.

i didn't get the internship i applied for.
and while i have set about looking for others, i was temporarily crestfallen.
which led me to scald my upper thigh with boiling water, accidentally of course.
i have a scar as big as my hand.

all i was doing was boiling hotdogs.
and thank god i dont wear miniskirts.
haha.

anyway, i will be collating a comprehensive list of my birthday wishes.
for practical reasons.
:))

cafe iguana

2008-04-29T23:23:00.006+08:00

and then, i laid foot at cafe iguana for the first time.
i mean, it didnt even make sense for me to be there, cos it is like a chillout with alcohol sorta place?
but i met people i have never actually gone out with before: Rai, Kelvin, Im, Xin Yi. Dawn unfortunately had to leave once i reached.

haha.

well, Im and Rai are cam whores. i had fun with them all the same. :D

we just chilled there. Rai and i had mocktails.

i had cinderella, which turned out to be a disappointing mixture of passionfruit juice and something.
Rai got a shirley temple. and the rest, i have no idea.

and here are the pics. :)

Rai and me.

decapitated

imran, the sweetheart who made my birthday invitation for me

he ASKED me to take this pic

i was the shortest for once haha.

sorry to those who fainted.

haha almost perfect

kelvin's one of the nicest guys i've met

we go back to times of teenagehood.

my Cinderella

photo of a photo

from the idiotic to the sweet

monkey boy.

settlers cafe.

2008-04-29T23:05:00.004+08:00

and so we met up for some more fun.
haha, it was just unfortunate that yet again, i had to tell zeinab that the aircon guys are coming and that i will have to join them later.

and join them i did, later.
and had heaps of fun.

zeinab apparently did her "Falling off the chair" act again.
haha, missed it.
we played Snorta, as usual.
and Pit.

we TRIED to play this game called saucy charades, and kinda failed sadly at it.

i have concluded that that game is for sexually deprived married males and females who are facing a mid-life crisis.
hahahaha. sourgrapes.

and here are the pics!

a balancing game we hardly got started on.

there is always time to look happy!
ouch ouch ouch. not too hard zeinab. (Pit)
some game they were playing seriously. Oh ya, Sandwich, before i came in. hungry souls.
group picccc.
yay. my hands are shiny. hahaha. waxed clean. HAPPY.
goons. haha. yaya is becoming more friendly towards paparazzi.
love love many. :D

fast one

2008-04-29T20:06:00.002+08:00

this has got to be a fast one, cos my battery needs to be replaced.
it can hold only 42% of original battery capacity, and right now it is at 25%.

thanks for making a re-appearance mr becoz i said so. my tagboard has missed you so.
and raymo, please be more coherent. thank you very much.
hahhahaa.
i have pics coming up.
been a while eh.
rayn baby has a fever.
but according to me, he is A OKAY. hahaha.
you will get well soon la.
youre just a naughty pussy cat. a smart smart one.
:D

soon i will be back.
have badminton at 9 freaking pm.
and then i will be back to blog.
and hopefully, do something that i have been thoroughly enjoying for the last week.

he: you see, you know about 80% about me after talking to me for one week
me: WHAT? it has only been a week?
he: yeah, feels like we've always known each other huh?

**I LIKE.

this feeling.

2008-04-26T22:11:00.001+08:00

is so very pretty.
and i want it to last.

whine up

2008-04-20T23:43:00.001+08:00

guys.
i like the song.
but what i like more.
is the guy in it!
good god.
so hot.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=37I8g7RWhwY

embedding was disabled. :S

disgusting.

2008-04-19T15:03:00.002+08:00

guys. it is really not funny.
it is terribly racially/culturally insensitive.
for those of my friends who appreciate it, i have little to say about yall.
because, seriously, you should grow up.
this video came to my attention last sem, and i totally am ashamed that MY FRIENDS would condone it.

i do not appreciate my mother tongue being butchered and ridiculed like that.

Flirting.

2008-04-19T14:33:00.003+08:00

Who would have guessed right, this is under my chapter of "Romantic Relationships".
Oh yes, how interesting, academic literature on romance AND flirting.

basically, here's the low-down of that journal.

In a study, first of all, it was found that men are still expected to be the initiators of flirting.
Flirting is a sort of seduction.
Physically attractive people tend to have more, and more successful flirting episodes because
1. evolutionary psychology has led humans to be socialised to think that what is beautiful is good.
2. because of that, these physically attractive people get more practice at their social skills.

the study was a pilot project, and was only conducted based on a party setting.

anyway, the two most effective initial flirting techniques were:

1. eliciting self disclosure (from the woman)
2. praise.

so there, you have it. just a summary.:)

when i woke up this morning...

2008-04-19T14:29:00.002+08:00

the first thing that my foot touched..
was a football!
haha rayn eshan..
i love you so so so.

anyway, only one paper down
3 papers to go in 2 days.
i sort of kinda couldnt take it yesterday.

when there was supposed to be captains ball, and there wasnt.
i was stressed, so i wanted to go, but it ended up adding to my stress, cos.
i went all the way to ngee ann poly and then upon seeing no one, made my way home.
and my bag was real heavy. jun, yes right?

then when i got home, i just couldnt bring myself to study SOME MORE.

well today is a better day.
:)

over the days of studying, i have learnt so many new pieces of information which i want to share with everyone. so interesting, but no time.

i will try. :D

love declaration

2008-04-12T22:04:00.001+08:00

out of impulse, i just wana tell phoebe tan that i love her!

and i have really enjoyed getting to know you better and working with you my love! :D

my water baby.

and i will be here for youuuu.

the decision is final

2008-04-12T00:46:00.002+08:00

the theme is...
ANGELS AND DEVILS.

NTU Urban Beats.

2008-04-12T00:41:00.001+08:00

please watch it, and comment on the youtube site.
thank you very much.

Birthday Wishlist Pt Four

2008-04-01T17:54:00.001+08:00

oh my god oh my god.

i like clutchbags

like a really chic one!

hm yeah. :))

Birthday Wishlist Pt Three

2008-03-31T11:44:00.002+08:00

1. EYELINER

2. FLIP FLOPS: Billabong, Adidas, Havaianas, Nike

In bright colours please. hehe. thanks. :)

i keep forgetting. no worries.
i will dutifully collate into a long list.
haha.
this is just a list ok.
fantasies. :))

happier post =))

2008-03-31T11:39:00.002+08:00

haha this one is for ummu, my dedicated blog viewer.
haha.
here i am with a happier blog post.
well, the rest of the week went better, and things got better with the one person i actually had some issues with, and i am glad because this person is my really good friend, and means a lot to me!

i would like to share something really happy!
phoebe and i.. were...
WATER BABIES!
on saturday morning.
before heading down to MML to do the flyer thing, we decided to go for a dip at jurong west stadium swimming pool.
and that place is good!
there is a lazy river and a slide which is as high as a multi storey HDB carpark.

:)

and i repeat, this is jurong WEST, not EAST.

and i am really proud of feebs!
cos it was her 1st time on both the lazy river and slide! :D

went to settle the food for my birthday.
:) i am still deciding the theme.
any suggestions?

projects, and friends.

2008-03-26T13:50:00.002+08:00

i am slipping up.
am i?
i am slipping up.
screwing up everywhere.
i have had a phobia of people getting pissed with me, since very very young.
and yet, that is all that is happening.

and i feel helpless because i in either case, i had no idea it was coming.

the communication, the miscommunication.

maybe i need to get out of my own tiny world.

how do you separate a friend as a groupmate, and a friend as a friend?
i have heard so many times about friends who make the worst groupmates.
and i apologise if i have been a bad one.

unbelievable

2008-03-25T01:07:00.001+08:00

i cant believe this is happening to me.
really.
of all people.
like what the fuck.

like what the fuck.

someone burn bitches, please.

thanks.

Birthday Wishlist Part Two

2008-03-21T00:07:00.002+08:00

Kavi, i hope you arent being sarcastic!
hehe.

anyway, today i discovered a few more things i might need.
HAHAHAHA.

1) Shoebag: mine is tearing

2) Make-up pouch: it is tearing too

3) Eyeliner/make up: like colourful eyeliner

4) a strong dressy bag which is big and can hold me lap top!

5) a new pair of skinny red jeans- my buckle came off today, and they are terribly expanded now.

hahahhaha.

by the way, do not worry about buyin the same thing as someone else, the more the merrier, i say.

Birthday Wishlist Pt One

2008-03-19T15:53:00.002+08:00

hahahahhahahahahhaha.
i cant believe i am doing this.
but here goes..
i cant remember entirely the things i want/need.

1) Black Skinny Jeans. hehe. only $32 at Classic Primitive.
there are cheaper alternatives. will be happy with any skinny black jeans! erm. the size. the same as the price. :p

2) SHADES- i have a fetish. any coolio rectangular one. cos when i tie my hair up, circular ones look odd. hehe.

3) Shoes/ tops- hm. hehe can i have voucher (in the form of money) to buy many many things from Bugis Village? hehe.
I would love to have a new skirt. hehehehe.

4) Belt. I have looked for them, but they are too small for me. so do practise caution on this one.

5) Bag- a sporty one? to replace the small black one i carry now. short sling preferred, like tote bag, or like the puma or nike ones. :D

6) Watch! digital ones only please. i take ages to read analog watches.i like adidas and nike watches. :) baby g, depends on the design hehe.

7) sponsor me to highlight my hair! ha ha. anywhere. good. :p

haha. thats all i can think of now.

erm, hope i havent sounded too demanding. these are just suggestions really.
i love flowers too.
i just dont want ornamental things i know i dont have space to display..
like there is no use right?
hehe.
stay tuned.
=D

Back to Singapore!

2008-03-16T23:37:00.003+08:00

hello!
haha. well, not like i was gone for long.
went to Malacca over the weekend. on a road trip.
waaah, cool ah. HA HA.
:p
had loads of fun!
went with my sis and bro in law, my rayn eshan, 2 couples,one with a daughter around rayn's age! 1 single girl and two attached guys who came without their partners.
enough detail?
haha.
we stayed at this A Famosa place at Malacca. haha pretty much a quiet place, Malacca.
where speed limits dont matter, and where drivers are gracious!

BUT

home is still home sweet home for me.

anyway, i got two pairs of shoes, one at 13 rm and another at 20 rm.
and finally, a pair of shades to replace my broken ones.

that reminds me.

a birthday wish list will be posted soon on my blog.
so do stay tune for updates.
ha ha. i am assuming, that everyone who reads this blog is going to be invited.
so if youre a secret reader(right), please do let me know who you are, so i can invite you
hehe hehe.
party will prob be held at spans jom on the 25th.
shit.
that is sutha's bday.
if you cant make it, i will understand sutha!
i cant make it for her party then!
damn.

ok anyway. details to be confimed. serves me right for booking so late!

i am really in a holiday mood, thats why such a long entry. hehe.
better read every word ah.

will post a malacca part 2 in a few days, provided i get the photos.
but till then, it is BACK TO REALITY.
hehe.

toodles!

The Necessary Stage

2008-03-06T15:42:00.002+08:00

there are lots of things i wana say, and lots photos i wana post.
but there is something i need lots of.
TIME.

well i am prioritising here.
yesterday, as part of our Drama and Performance module, i attended a lecture-demonstration by Haresh Sharma and Alvin Tan from The Necessary Stage.

It was rather inspiring.
The extent to which these theatre practitioners have stayed committed in such a constrained environment.

Through the censorship and accusations.
They offer internships too, and i am so tempted to at least try.
But, i am confused, because i know this is not going to help on my resume.
oh well, the life in Singapore.

Happy Big 3 Amin!

2008-02-29T23:42:00.001+08:00

haha.
i know this is two days late!
and.. despite the things that happened, i want to let you know that..
youre quite old now.
haha!
continue being the crappy person we all know.
and love.
;)

love, jal.
p.s: everything happens for a reason!

satisfaction.

2008-02-29T23:35:00.002+08:00

On the 26th of February, my whole family went to the railway station to have a seafood dinner, to celebrate my bro in law's bday which falls on the 27th.

it was an excellent dinner.
food was good!
and although i have no photos from the dinner, i have happiness to last me a long time.
it was a really complete family outing, with everyone in good terms with everyone, with our precious angel just being there, and with real good food!
we ended our last-minute dinner escapade with some delirious moments.
we bought stuff from the one-dollar machine which produces "eggs".
and to our joy, we bought tops which displayed some really pretty lights.
i dont really know if the toys were for us or for rayn, cos we were the ones playing with them.
erm, i dont know if it is right to say that i played...
cos the moment i threw the top, it broke.
ha ha ha.

well, although the weighing scale did not approve of my dinner that night, my heart did. :)

ten pins only.

2008-02-20T13:52:00.004+08:00

i went over to the bowling alley with my dad to go see our precious baby.
hehe.
after badminton.
and the result of that.
cam whoring.
my score was 117, not bad right!
hehe.
anyone wana bowl? :))

and so my creative juices are dry

2008-02-20T13:41:00.003+08:00

i am in creative strats lect.
credit is due. he is interesting, and the entire module is an eyeopener.
but oh but. 12.30-2.30 is my after-lunch i wana sleep time! :(

haiz.

the workload never seems to end.
always have so many things on my mind. :(
my shades broke.
and i am snacking so much.

every single day, the one thing that is keeping me going is this...

i love you so much rayn eshan!
you make my day with your shrieks, smiles and scary stunts when youre sleepy.
i love you sooooo sooooo sooooo sooooo sooooo much!!!!!!!!!!

love, aunty jal.

letting go

2008-02-12T13:53:00.000+08:00

yet another phase.
i have to let go.
and i will.

sometimes

2008-02-10T01:36:00.000+08:00

you do things that hurt you so that you come out stronger.
right?

lazy, or busy?

2008-02-06T12:51:00.000+08:00

i think it is amazing how much convenience we have now, how much we take it for granted and how lazy we have become.
the internet in itself is a convenience.

we can do internet transfers, discuss projects online, shop online. all literally with the lift of a finger.
being able to do everything with the lift of a finger used to be associated with fairy godmothers and their wands!

and even on the internet itself, we ask for more convenience!
saved passwords, bookmarked pages.
are we really such busy people, or are we just so lazy now?

these are things to think about, because sometimes i find myself not being able to draw the line.

:) jal.

Interpersonal Communication

2008-02-05T23:19:00.001+08:00

just a special mention, because i am thoroughly enjoying this lesson.
BJ is not too bad too. it is a pleasure having someone you really like to work with!
thanks phoebe baby.
and jun and val, i love yall so much that whenever i see yall in the mml lab, my heart does a happy dance.
:D
guys, we gotta do lunch. i miss yall.

i really cant believe how busy this semester is turning out to be.
time management is so very crucial.
feel the pressure, feel the pressure.

captains ball competition(sports spectra) is on thursday.
:))

will be back with a more intelligent, lengthier post. haha.